where’s the douche?

January 27, 2010


An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.

you all know who i’m talking about.

he’s the guy with the popped collar.

he’s the guy with the ed hardy outfit.

he’s the guy wearing sunglasses inside.

he is…THE DOUCHE. This blog is dedicated to pointing out the douche in your life, and sharing his douchiness with the world.

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Microsoft Store… Corporate Douches

February 22, 2010

Have you ever been on vacation and woke up in the morning and forgot where you were?  Well if you woke up in a Microsoft store and didn’t know that Microsoft Stores existed, you probably would think that you were in an Apple Store.  It’s pretty ridiculous.  They copied everything…right down to the solid colored t-shirts with the logo in the middle of the chest.  Microsoft is always several steps behind Apple, and their marketing department is no exception.  See for yourself…

Then I saw this…

You know that all of the employees are completely embarrassed and thinking “I bet they don’t have to do this at Apple”.  I went in there one time with my brother to mock their products, and a guy tried to sell me a Zune.  He said that it was better than their “competitor”.  I said “Do you mean Apple”, while pulling out my iphone.  Then I called someone on mine… I won.

Just Funny

February 19, 2010

Submitted by: Edmund

Ok, I know this guy… he is not a douche, but this is way too funny not to post.  Edmund gets a phone call from Morgan one day and is asked to come over as fast as possible.  Edmund gets there to find Morgan helplessly upside down.  He pulled a Deuce Bigalo while he was working out, but didn’t have a fish tank to help him out.  Luckily he had a phone on him.  Haha!!!

If you have to make this blog, this is a really funny way to do it.  Way to go Morgan!!!

Justin Beiber… Little Boy Douche

February 18, 2010

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that this little kid is a douche for being famous and having the voice of a little girl.  Good for him on making it big.  Good for him for making a ton of money.  Good for him for being able to get almost any girl between the ages of 8 and 17.  But there is NO excuse for a little kid from smalltown Canada to talk like he’s been ridin dirty in the ATL all of his life!  He just moved there.  People shouldn’t become douches that fast!

I heard that the kid has a “swagger” coach… Yea, a swagger coach.

Drunk Chick… Douche?

February 12, 2010

Submitted by: Molly

You know that ridiculously annoying drunk girl who’s always screaming, crying and passing out everywhere? She’s a douche, but we still love her.

I know some women don’t like to be called “chicks” because it’s degrading… but I don’t think this young lady is worried too much about being degraded by being called a chick.  Drunk chicks can be fun and interesting.  Just make sure that you’re not her closest friend there, or you’ll be this schlub, having to Navy SEAL her all the way home. -DM

Another Parking Douche…

February 12, 2010

Submitted by: Sara

Here is one for all the parking douches. We get it. You’re important so you can park in the red.

I can’t say I’ve never done it before… but it’s still douchebagery.  BTW I bet you $100 this guy has a mullet, is smoking Marlborol Reds, and spends half his day guaranteeing that his car is faster than a Ford Mustang. – DM

Dancing Douche… We’ve all seen them

February 5, 2010

Submitted by: Bridget in Ohio

This guy showed up to a bar in athletic pants and sweater then broke it down in front of the band…ALONE on the dance floor all night.

Ok, I do see a ridiculously dressed douche here.  We’ve probably all been around the person that awkwardly dances when no one else is.  But did anyone notice the second douche in the photo?  That would be the lead singer in the band named “SpungeWurthy”.  Is that the best that they could come up with?  Really?  Sounds like a drunk night of brainstorming… followed by many other nights of similarly drunk fans.

Paris Hilton… You are a DOUCHE!

February 3, 2010

Paris Hilton is famous for being rich and going to clubs… and carrying that annoying and ugly Chihuahua everywhere.  The only thing more annoying than her dog is her amazingly annoying voice.  Here’s to you, Paris!

Shirtless Douche

February 1, 2010

Guys who take pictures of themselves shirtless in the mirror and send them to girls they know or post them on myspace/facebook are ALL douches.  NO EXCEPTIONS!!!  If you do this, you are a douche… Even if you can crack walnuts between your abs.  I’m not gay.

John Gosselin… Ed Hardy Douche

January 31, 2010

When did Ed Hardy become the official wardrobe of douches?  Now Ed Hardy is actually sponsoring douches!  Check out John Gosselin:

Not only is he getting the hookup from Ed Hardy, he is rolling with Christian Audigier on his yacht and racking up $50K bar tabs while his kids are at Kate’s house being taken care of by the nanny because Kate is off getting more plastic surgery for her talk show circuit. I’m not saying they are bad parents but… ok, they are bad parents.

Flannel Douches

January 31, 2010

I don’t know when flannel leaked over from lumberjacks and rubbed off on skaters, but I think it’s kind of weird.  Weird, but not exactly douchey.  However, when you’re rollin with 5 dudes to dinner one of you should mix it up and make it a point not to wear flannel.  I couldn’t get all of them, but everyone in the group was wearing a flannel shirt.  Douches!